Family And Money | Squirrelers

Proud to See Financial Wisdom at a Young Age

May 092013

As a parent, you’re always teaching lessons to your kids. Often times they’re intentional, where you directly try to impart your wisdom and hope that the message is conveyed and absorbed. Other times, the lessons are learned by their own observations of your behavior and words.

Either way, kids can learn a lot from parents. This includes gaining perspectives on not just life in general, but also on money. There is financial wisdom to be gained at any age, including when young!

I recently had a conversation with my elementary school age daughter that showed that lessons can be learned when younger. Frankly, it was pretty cool!

It happened when we were driving in the car on the way to school. We passed by some houses that were newer and really nice. I’d classify these as “McMansions”. Big homes that seemingly dwarf nearby homes and carry property tax rates in the stratosphere. Anyway, as we drove by, she remarked that it would be cool to live in one of those houses. Then she asked if we could afford one.

I paused for a moment, and then said that those are the types of houses that most people would have to “stretch” to buy. Being a kid, she chuckled and asked what I meant by “stretch”.

My response was to say that stretching to buy a home means that a family spends more than they’re comfortable spending or more than what they probably should spend. They do this to buy a home that they really, really want – even if it’s a step above their price range, I said.

She immediately said: “Why would anyone do that. Wouldn’t that be stressful?” She continued with: “Daddy, did you know that too much stress can cause a heart attack? People that spend too much money on some house they can’t afford could be making stress just for a house!”

When I heard that, I smiled. I never directly told her anything like that before, but somehow she’s picked up enough about money, common sense, and life, that she was able to figure out that one should spend only what you can comfortably afford.

Being someone who enjoys personal finance, I have to admit: I was kind of proud

I’ve written before about emotions and buying a home, how a couple ended up letting emotions get in the way of sound decision-making. Grown-ups make such mistakes, even bright, well-meaning ones. To the extent we can get kids to think clearly and objectively about purchases, we’re helping give them a good foundation on which to handle money later!

My Questions for You

What lessons about money did you learn when younger?

Which ones helped you as you got older?

Cars for Crazy Teen Drivers

Family and Money 4 Responses »

Apr 182013

We all know that teenagers have the capacity to do some off the wall things sometimes. We’ve passed through that stage, and can recall things we did then that we can smile about now, recalling how funny those memories were! Or, in come cases, we shake our head and wonder how and why we made a few decisions that we did back then. In some cases, this can involve teenage driving experiences.

I’ve written about teens and driving a few times, the first time about the topic of what car a teenager should drive. There, I shared a story about how I saw a group of kids in a luxury SUV, which got some good comments on what cars people actually drove when younger. Another post talked about how there were reports suggesting that fewer teens were driving now versus a generation ago, which led me to wonder about this would lead to fewer expensive cars for teens.

Lately, I observed a couple of instances of crazy teen drivers, which reminded me about these past posts – and why I think kids do not need to be riding around in nice, expensive cars.

The Shopping Mall

I was at a local shopping mall, one of those tw0-level, indoor malls with several big anchor retailers, a food court, etc. Anyway, the parking lot is absolutely massive in this suburban mall, to the point where probably more than 50% of spaces aren’t used on a normal weekend afternoon. This despite being a thriving mall.

Anyway, the point is that one could probably drive through and across much of the parking lot without worrying about hitting any cars. Yet, most normal people don’t drive recklessly anyway. There are one-way rows in the entire lot, and people drive the right direction to park their cars or to exit. You know, the rows where cars are parked at an angle.

So, I was leaving the parking lot, and exiting straight ahead down the one-way row that I was in. As I was leaving the lot, I saw a car race right in front of me, perpendicular to how I was driving. The car was cutting across the lanes, driving through empty spots. The car swerved as it barreled ahead in front of me, as if the driver was trying to avoid hitting me.

It all happened so fast, but I looked off to the right, and the car slowed down enough for me to see a car full of teenage-looking guys.

Clearly, zero common sense was being used by the driver. This had the potential to be an accident, though thankfully nothing happened.

The Stoplight

I was at a stoplight recently, and the light was green. I was in the left lane, with 2 lanes going in each direction on a 4-lane road. Yet, the cars ahead of me were not moving.

The guy directly in front of me started honking, but the car in front didn’t move. So, he waited for traffic to be clear in the right lane before he turned to the right, got into that lane, and then passed the stalled car in front of him. Once he did that, I followed suit.

As I drove by the car that was stalled in the left lane, I realized that it wasn’t stalled. There were teenage girls in there laughing, with the driver looking in the mirror putting on makeup or something. They obviously knew that their friend was stalling traffic. Once I drove by, I looked back in my rear view mirror and saw that the car full of teens finally started moving. I guess makeover time was finished.

The Open Field

Okay, this last example isn’t recent. It’s from 2 decades ago.

It’s also something I did

This is tame compared to what others do, but I recall being a teenager out one late night with a few friends. It was probably 10 or 11 at night, and we were on our way somewhere driving through a newer subdivision that was not yet fully built out. There were groups of houses that were built, with undeveloped, empty lots surrounding them as well.

So, if of course made sense at the time to take my car and drive through one of those empty fields. I took the Honda Civic, and took it “off road”. Driving through fields in between houses, I zig-zagged my way through bumpy dirt and vegetation. As I did, we could see frightened rabbits scattering in all directions. We of course were laughing and having good time, despite not realizing that the car or tires could have been damaged in the process.

I’m sure this wasn’t my parents had in mind when I was driving their car!

The thing is, I was actally an otherwise very responsible kid. Someone who didn’t get in trouble, and unlikely to make big mistakes. So if I did that, what could one of the goofball teens do? One can only wonder.

Bottom Line: Teenagers don’t need to driving around expensive cars. As I think about it, I think it’s worth it to have them drive a safe car. No need to drive around a hunk of junk that won’t be safe. Beyond safety though, I don’t think even one split second should be spent worrying about brand name – or how cool a car is. They should be able to safely get from Point A to Point B, with zero regard for how uncool their friends think the car is!

Wisdom from a Kid on Money and Health

Family and Money 6 Responses »

Dec 242012

Sometimes, it takes a family member to keep us in line on different things, including money. Suggestions can come from different people, even – believe it or not – a kid!

Yes, I actually got some spending advice recently, from my daughter, and found it to be very simple but insightful. So, I thought I would share it here with everyone.

We were out at a quick-casual restaurant recently, getting dinner while being out on a busy day. I normally don’t think eating out excessively is the best idea with kids, but at least we weren’t at what some might deem a socially unacceptable fast food place like we discussed recently. We read off the menu board, then I was about to order for everyone. We were next in line, right behind the people ordering.

At that point my oldest, still a young kid, asked me what I was getting. I told her what I was going to get for myself, but didn’t mention the drink. Then she asked if I was going to get a fountain drink, and I said “yes”.

Then, she asked me not to get one. Or maybe she nicely suggested it, I don’t recall exactly. But she did very nicely make this quick point to me (paraphrased): “You’ll feel better if you don’t get one, and just get water instead. Why spend money on something that isn’t good for you”.

Admittedly, I paused, and my first thought was “ugh…I can’t get this now because it wouldn’t set the best example.”

But you know what, she had a point! Why spend money on buying something that is less healthy than water, when I could get water for free? Wouldn’t it make more sense to choose the option that both costs less AND is better for you?

Why don’t we all think like this a little bit more often? Throwing good money after negative results doesn’t seem to be a high ROI proposition.

So, after pausing, I told her she was absolutely correct, and that I was just going to get water. And I thanked her for bringing that to my attention, while telling her I liked how she thought about it. Needless to say, I was happy – not only because some teachings are being learned, but also because it’s great to see the next generation making good decisions. I certainly didn’t think that way as a kid, or even when a little bit more grown up!

My Questions for You

Have you ever heard some words from kids that reflected a surprising level of wisdom and good sense for their respective age?

What do you think of the simple idea of not spending good money on something that is surely not going to help you overall, and might even harm you in some way?

Saving Money by Procrastinating

Family and Money 8 Responses »

Dec 222012

Most of realize that procrastinating has a way of getting us into trouble. Or, if not bad situations, it can get us into situations that require a lot of catch up work later. So generally speaking, it’s good to get the important things done first.

When it comes to Christmas shopping, however, it just might pay to procrastinate! I recently saw something I wanted to buy, but hadn’t actually made the decision to purchase yet, be offered at a much better deal closer to the end of the season.

Without going into specifics – in case the recipient happens to be reading - I had my eye on an item that was about $200. I know that she would like this particular gift, but I hadn’t made the purchase yet. This item was available for a little bit less online, but it got to the point where it just wouldn’t have been a good decision to buy it and risk shipping issues – or pay extra for fast shipping. So in that case, procrastination looked like it was going to hurt.

Then, I went back into the store and found a nice surprise a few days later. The same item was priced at the same level – about $200 – but was now offered with a $50 gift card. Hooray!

It looked like that quite a few in stock, so maybe this was a way to incent consumers to make purchase while the buying season was still in play. Well, it worked with me! I snapped it up, and happily took the $50 gift card which I would certainly be using. There would be no risk of me wasting that card. So essentially, when considering my next purchases there, I will have received $250 of merchandise for $200.

Bottom line is that this amounted to a 20% discount, when you look at it that way. All for being a procrastinator with gifts!

Clearly, it’s not necessarily such a bad idea to wait to buy certain gifts. When stores want to get rid of things before the season is up, and want to meet sales goals, it might be possible to score some good deals. Might as well strategically take advantage of this.

Back to the notion of procrastinating normally being something to not do, why does it seem like many guys are habitually buying things in the last few days, each year? Believe me, I know several that have been in the same boat as me. One flat out laughed and said he’s really close to being in the doghouse considering he hasn’t even bought anything or thought much about it, even just days before the holiday. What’s a relief is that at least we can be rewarded for this procrastination by saving money!

My Questions for You

Do you evern wait until the last few days before buying holiday gifts?

Do you find there to be good deals during this time, versus earlier in the season?

Why is it, in your opinion, that guys in general tend to procrastinate with buying gifts a little bit more than the ladies do (at least based on what I’ve seen!)?

Real or Fake Christmas Tree – Which to Buy?

Family and Money 11 Responses »

Dec 062012

If you celebrate Christmas, you’re more than likely keeping a Christmas tree in your home. Many memories from childhood come from the holiday season, and the Christmas tree is often a part of the festivities and center of some of the activities.

One thing I’ve noticed over the years is that many families have regular traditions with the tree. It may decorating the tree the same way each year, adding some long-time ornaments to the tree, or even keeping it in the same exact location. What about the idea of keeping the same exact tree every year?

Depending on your decision when considering whether to buy a real or fake tree, you just might be able to keep that same tree every year for a long time.

Now, I could have called posed the decision as “real vs artificial tree”, but often times the latter really are fakes. They’re generally intended to look like the real thing, not the other way around. They’re fake. But that doesn’t mean they’re bad.

Why Buy a Fake Tree

For me, the reason is clear cut: allergies. My family had a fake tree all the way back to my childhood, for that very reason. So for some people, this makes the decision an easy one.

For others who don’t have that as a factor, there might be other reasons:

Cost. By spending up front, you can spread the fixed cost of buying a tree over many years. Let’s say you pay $200 for a tree and keep it 20 years, you’re spending $10 per year. Not bad! So you want to keep it only 10 years? Well, then it’s still only $20 annually. Sure that goes up if you buy some super-deluxe tree, but generally your average annual cost won’t be too bad.
Convenience. The tree is right there at home, you don’t have to go out and lug a different one home every year. Time is money after all, right?
Tradition. There can actually be attachment to the same tree year in, year out. I still remember the tree from childhood, that we had at my parents’ house. There was a nice familiarity to it, and it was a regular, reliable part of the holiday season. When you have really good memories with the same surroundings, it’s easy to have great feelings for the whole scene – including enjoying having the same tree.
Cleaner. Something that’s manufactured is likely to be less messy than something that was a living, organic thing growing from the ground. Real wood and needles are not as conducive to a clean place than to the fake variety.

Why Buy a Real Tree

Natural. While I have never personally had one, I can totally see how there’s something different about having a real tree. After all, it’s real - not fake. How often is any fake item more desirable than the real thing?
The Environment. Now, I can’t speak to this completely – but it makes sense that a real tree would be more environmentally friendly in the big picture than a fake tree. Can a fake tree truly be as recyclable as a real tree? What went into making the fake tree, and transporting it to its distribution or retail center? Just questions that one can think about.
Tradition. Didn’t I say this above? Sure. Traditions can take many forms, and I can totally see the tradition of going out and finding a nice tree every year. It can be a fun thing to do each year, something to look forward to as a part of the season. While I personally haven’t done this, I can see how it could be really cool for many people.
Scent. This probably goes back to the “natural” aspect, but a fresh pine scent can have great appeal to people. One would think that artifical pine-scented oils and candles can only replicate the real thing so much, from a sensory and psychological perspective.

The Bottom Line

Really, I think many people might have strong opinions on this either way, and already have their minds made up. It really is a personal decision for each household. However, if you have a decision to make, it’s worth considering these factors before making your purchase!

My Questions for You:

Which type of tree do you prefer – real or fake?

Why do you have that preference?

Is this the same type of tree you had when growing up?

Cars for Teens: Don’t Spoil Them With Expensive Vehicles

Family and Money 15 Responses »

Oct 252012

When you were a teenager, what was your first car?

A Luxury Car for Teenagers!

I drove a modest Honda Civic that didn’t have power steering. Yes, it also was missing power locks and windows. This was a small car, very modest, nothing spectacular. It even belonged to my parents, so it’s not like it was even my own. However, it was a nice to have the opportunity to drive, and I still consider my parents to have been generous to let me drive it.Well, that perspective seems to be different from that of a few other folks I’ve encountered. I previously shared a story on how I saw some teens driving a luxury vehicle, which became a discussion on cars that teenagers should drive. Clearly, those were kids that didn’t pay for this luxury vehicle on their own. Rather, I’m sure one of the kids’ parents bought it.

Lately, I’ve come to realize that some people that I know, with kids a bit older than me, have given their kids upscale, big brand name cars to drive. Why? Well, I don’t know. All I know is that it makes no sense to me that these kids need to be driving an upscale vehicle. Even with affordable vehicle insurance for teens available, the overall cost of these kids having these cars has got to be high.

I simply think that when somebody is flat out given something like that - without paying for it – it’s often hard for the recipient to truly appreciate what it takes to buy such a vehicle. After all, if it’s as easy as Mom and Dad giving you a super nice car, it won’t be as appreciated as if you got a clunker instead – or something modest (as I did). Or, if you paid for it yourself.

Now, I realize that teens can be competitive, and really want to fit in. Being cool is important to many kids, and let’s face it – we were in that mindset in some form or another at that age. Maybe not needing a fancy car, but we were probably wanting to fit in, or not be lame and feel like an outcast.

However, isn’t there a line to be drawn somewhere? I don’t see how it’s a need for kids to be driving an expensive car – or a new car of any kind. An old car is perfectly fine, as long as its safe. It doesn’t need to be cool, it doesn’t need to look good. All it needs to do is be safe, reliable, and get a kid from Point A to Point B. And that, by itself, is something that a kid should be thankful to have. And frankly, it seems that some kids

By getting a luxury car when young, I would worry that a kid would then have high standards forever. After all, if you start out with a really nice vehicle, won’t it be a bit tougher to trade down a few notches when older? It will make it harder to be like some of us who take pride in car longevity – I can attest to driving one to past 200,000 miles! If you keep wanting nice new cars, you’ll spend a ton more over your lifetime on wants versus needs.

The Bottom Line: I have no idea what the parents who are buying these kids expensive cars are thinking. Maybe they’re not thinking?

My Questions for You

What do you think about my notion that kids should drive simple yet reliable used cars – rather than a nice, brand name newer car?

Do you think that giving a kid such a car can be setting a teen up for not understanding the value of money?

What was your first car like?

How Much Does The Tooth Fairy Leave?

Family and Money 9 Responses »

Oct 152012

Some money questions are very important.

Just a few examples are: how to discern wants from needs, how much to save for retirement, and where to invest money. Now it’s time to move on to what you know is a much more “important” money question: how much money should the tooth fairy give a child for losing a tooth?

Believe it or not, I actually wrote a prior post that involved this subject, but it was more about a friend’s kid trying to get money for losing a tooth. Only, a tooth wasn’t actually lost! It was one of those eye opening revelations that got me thinking “Wow, kids can be quite clever!”.

In this case, I’m interested in hearing what you think about what’s “normal” – if there is such a thing – in terms of what a kid might get for losing a tooth. Keeping in mind that of course, not everybody goes along with the concept, and many even think the whole concept of the tooth fairy is simply dumb.

This topic came up because of somebody else I know talking about the “going rate” in his area (he lives in a different city than me) is $10. Yes, that’s right - over there, kids get $10 from their parents – err, I mean the Tooth Fairy – for losing a tooth. The child leaves the tooth under the pillow, and wakes up to a nice chunk of money waiting for him or her. Seems like a pretty good deal for kids, and expensive for the parents! It gets better though – some kids there might even get a stuffed animal for losing a tooth!

My child just lost a tooth recently, and I left $2 for it. Actually, she came to me asking why the tooth fairy didn’t leave anything though she left the tooth under the pillow. The tooth was still there, and the money never showed up. Oops! I maneuvered the situation to get back in the room and leave $2 under the bed, then later it was positioned such that the tooth fairy must have been in a hurry so left it there instead. We do what he have to do sometimes

Anyway, I was thinking that $2 was in line with what I got as a kid, from an inflation-adjusted basis. I think I got $0.25 or $0.50. To me, this seems to be a lot. Or, at least so I thought!

My Questions for You

Did you ever get anything from the “Tooth Fairy”?

Do you think it’s a ridiculous concept, or something that’s one of those fun little things about childhood/parenting?

What do you think is a reasonable amount for a kid to get for losing a tooth?

Reader Comment on Wills: “I think you are an Idiot”

Family and Money 12 Responses »

Sep 202012

According to a recent reader comment, there’s at least one person out there who thinks I’m an idiot.

A previous post on wills and giving to kids, from quite a while ago, elicited a nice bit of name calling from a reader in a comment. Here are small snippets of the comment:

I think you are an idiot……In any case, it is wrong to treat children differently, and that can only be measured in dollars

The full comment was much longer, and you can go to the post to read it in full. Anyway, my simple response was to note the opinion that the comment was “kind of harsh, just a bit?”.

Here’s the deal: I think that in a will, there are some circumstances where it can be okay to leave different amounts of money to kids in a will.

Revisiting that debate, it just seems to me that in a will, that it might be the fair thing to do in some cases to leave more money for one child versus another. I didn’t think this at first, but further reflection got me thinking that there could be times when it’s best.

What if one grown-up kid ends up far more successful financially than the others?

What if one kid has serious health problems, and will have major expenses going forward in life?

What if one kid went through a painful divorce leaving him (or her) in financial ruin?

As long as the kids are each hard working, well-meaning, good people – it seems to me that there is nothing wrong with giving more help to the one(s) who truly needs it the most. I’m not talking about shutting out a kid just because he or she is more fortunate? Rather, just giving a little more to the ones that are less fortunate.

I suppose there are some people that are anti-inheritance anyway. As in, not believing in the idea of leaving money to others. Rather, just spend it. Kind of an extension of the notion that nobody is entitled to an inheritance, which makes sense in many cases.

While I’m not a fan of entitlement, it seems like there shouldn’t be anything wrong with helping someone in need more than someone who needs it less. Ideally, siblings who care about each other would be understanding, and wouldn’t falsely assume favoritism. If they do, perhaps it’s their own personal shortcoming.

What Do You Think?

Do you think that there can be circumstances where one kid can justifiably be given a bigger inheritance than his or her siblings?

If so, what are circumstances in which it would be okay?

If you don’t agree, why not?

I know you won’t engage in name calling :)

5 Reasons Why Disneyland Is Worth Visiting

Family and Money 6 Responses »

Jul 162012

What does Disneyland have to do with personal finance?

For one thing, there are many folks that are out there in some kind of fantasy world when it comes to their money. People who totally ignore why it’s important to have an emergency fund are a part of that group. But hey, since we’re talking about Disneyland here, I’ll go back to the positive side of things

Earlier this summer we visited Disneyland, flying from Chicago to Southern California and meeting up with another family who we hadn’t seen in a few years. It was great to see them, and was fun to visit the park. It had been over 2 decades (yes, I’m getting old!) since I was last there, so I was curious how much fun it would be for me to visit at this age. Of course, I was more interested in how much fun my daughter would have there instead of me! This was one of those trips that I wanted her to experience once during childhood.

Well, it turned out to be a great time for all! Of course she enjoyed it, but I have to say that I enjoyed myself too. While much of that fun was seeing her happy and spending time with the other family I mentioned, the park itself was fun for me as well.

Was it cheap? No. I don’t even want to get into the costs, as needless to say the trip wasn’t inexpensive summer fun (though the fun part sure did apply!). Hotels in the area cost an arm and a leg too, as evidenced by how I ~~got gouged~~ spent a pretty penny for the stay. Souvenirs at the park cost a fair amount too.

All this being said, it was totally worth it. For a one-time trip, it was fun to not think about costs all that much and just make it a fun experience for kids and everyone. Along those lines, here are 5 reasons why visiting Disneyland is worth visiting:

Memories can be made. Yes, that might seem like a corny thing for me to say. But for kids, it’s a ton of fun to see the characters, the parades, and be a part of the whole environment. I remember visiting as a kid, and know my daughter will remember too. That’s the other thing: as a grown-up, seeing your kid having a fun time is memorable as well.
It’s timeless. I mentioned earlier that I hadn’t been there in decades. Well, it took me a short while to get re-acclimated! However, visiting the Haunted House and Pirates of the Caribbean totally made me feel like it was decades ago. That’s a good thing, in this case. The rides might have been updated in some ways for all I know, but they felt just like they did way back when.
Customer service is very good. Now, nothing compares to the my best customer service experience ever. However, the service at Disneyland was really good. Everyone I dealt with was attentive and – not surprisingly – cheerful. It was almost funny how happy some of the people seemed to act, but it was refreshing in a way.
Emphasis on quality. Things seem kept up, and the experience is a solid one. Whether we’re talking about rides, other attractions, souvenirs, or even the food – things are of really good quality by theme park standards.
It’s fun for the whole family. It’s truly a place where people of most ages can have fun. I’m not sure I would have been crazy about it when I was in my late teens or even much of my twenties, but it’s funny how getting older can allow us to have fun in a place like Disneyland. Kids have fun, and so can parents or grandparents. There are rides and attractions for everyone.

Ironically, I had previously posted about ways to save money at theme parks – and didn’t completely follow all my own advice. However, one part I absolutely did follow was eating a good breakfast before going to the park. We had two days of park visits, and having a full stomach was a great way to save some money on food during the day. Of course, as I mentioned above, the food we did get at the park was actually pretty decent by theme park standards.

Bottom line: Disneyland was a fun place to visit, pricey or not! It’s a classic, All-American experience.

My Questions for You:

Have you ever been to one of the Disney parks?

Did you find it to be worth it like I did?

What is your favorite part of a visit to the park?

Left Out of a Will

Family and Money 17 Responses »

May 242012

When someone close to you passes away, it’s not an easy time. Especially if it’s a parent. Imagine how would it feel to bear that burden, then subsequently find out that a sibling of yours was left out of the will!

This doesn’t apply to anybody specific I know, but it was a question asked on CNN Money, with some reader answers subsequently published in the print copy of Money. The answers that were given were interesting to read, and got me thinking about the situation further, as well as past related posts such as diving an inheritance with a sibling, and giving unequally to kids based on your will.

Here are what the some respsonses were (paraphrased), along with my comments:

If the sibling is treated unfairly, it could seriously your relatioship, so get your parent to change his or her mind about the will. Well, I agree on the part that the relationship might be harmed if the sibling is treated unfairly. In that case, if you know that you’ll get more undeservedly, I think that it seems like the right thing to do to address it. That said, it’s the parent’s final say. Of course, you could later make arrangements to rectify the situation after the fact.
Stay out of it, meddling could make things worse. That might be true in some cases. I suppose it depends on the family dynamics involved. Still, if you feel strongly, it might not be bad in some cases to speak up respectfully to the parent as mentioned above.
It depends why they did that. Maybe a lump sum would do more harm, so you may want to trust your parents. Ultimately, it’s their choice, and the whole idea of people jockeying for position for an inheritance seems so uncouth to me. Of course, trying to be fair to a sibling is honorable too. Maybe if the sibling has problems, the parent has good reasons.
You can give some of your inheritance to your siblings. Yes, you certainly can. It might not repair hurt feelings of the siblings toward the other parent, but that’s not something you could control anyway.
It’s not up to you, as nobody has the right to receive anything. That’s very true that people don’t have the right to expect anything. It’s another person’s money, and they can do what they choose with it. That being said, if you know that they will in fact be giving money to their kids, I think it’s natural to have some kind of reaction about how things are allocated. We’re only human after all.
Be thankful and don’t do what the sibling did to be left out. Have to agree with that!

Overall, I do think that it’s not automatically unfair to give one person more than another, or leave a person out. In many cases, sure it could be incredibly hurtful and showing cruel favoritism. However, it other cases there might be a legitimate reason. This might include a kid being simply a bad kid who was cruel to the parent, or perhaps the sibling is incredibly successful anyway and needs far less help than a strugling sibling who had some hard luck in life.

Thus, as a sibling who sees that another sibling was left out, I think it’s a good idea to take the time to really understand why parents made the decisions they did. If you don’t feel comfortable addressing the situation, and don’t agree then you could always rectify the situation later anyway by giving money to the other sibling.

What Do You Think?

What do you think of notion of one sibling being left out of a will? Is it always cruel, or it is sometime understandable depending on the situation?

How would you handle the situation if you found out a sibling got left out? Conversely, how would you react if you were left out?

Note: I ask these questions with the belief that we should not be maneuvering for inheritances, are not entitled, and that this is a touchy/unpleasant topic for some.

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