Many of you might remember the story about The Crafty Waitress. This was the Squirreling Gone Wild series edition that described how a waitress tried to steer me towards giving her a tip of over 100%. The consensus was that she was playing games, and that I was probably being too generous by giving the tip that I did, which was about 12%.
Now, typically, I give in the 15% to 20% range at a restaurant. My baseline is 15%, and I’m now in the mode of giving more if I feel the service was especially good, or if I sense that the server is down on his or her luck. I don’t like seeing suffering…who does? And as readers here know, I’m a believer in stepping back and appreciating what we are lucky to have, and being generous with others. If the service is especially bad, I may go lower, but rarely to extremely low levels.
Keeping these views in mind, there was an article in Yahoo! Finance that struck me as being a bit over the top. The topic was end-of-year tipping, and it provided guidelines for tipping in different situations during the holiday season. These were intended to be the “New Rules” for tipping during this time of year.
First off, the article made the claim that:
“Tipping 10 to 15 percent is old-school….. The new standard is 20 percent and up.”
Really? As I said, I’m in the 15% to 20% range most of the time, with some variation. But is 20% and up the new standard?
I’m curious what you think of this. Do you see this as a new “standard”? Maybe you do tip 20% at a minimum, and more power to you – but do you see this as a baseline for everyone to follow?
Additionally, the article had a number of suggestions for different service providers. I’m cool with some of it, to be sure. However, I’m left puzzled at some of it as well. Here is a small sampling of 3 that jumped out at me, with the article’s suggestions (paraphrased here in blue), along with my own comments:
Postal Workers:
Article: $20, as they can’t receive more than that in cash, though personal goods can also be given.
My view: I think it might be a nice thing to do, maybe practical too. Maybe it’s worth it, if they’re nice, they deliver in lousy weather, and/or you don’t want your mail to get lost? Honestly, though I never have given a postal worker a tip, I just haven’t thought about it. I’m not necessarily against it, either. I just don’t think it should required by any means, and I don’t think anyone who doesn’t give a postal worker an annual holiday tip is stingy or violating social norms.
Personal caregivers, such as daycare teachers:
Article: Give each teacher $100 to $300, and consider joining with other parents. In some cases, it’s expected.
My view: It’s probably smart to do something nice for your kid’s teacher. This is someone who spends a significant part of the day with your child. That’s a big deal. However, here’s where I differ:
- Each teacher gets a large gift? That seems excessive. If your child has a primary teacher, AND several others – this can get really expensive. .
- It’s often expected? Why? Now, we annually gave $100 gift card to a past daycare provider, who was absolutely fantastic. She earned my respect and did a really, really, great job when my daughter was younger. Honestly, I would want to help her if she needed help in the future, out of appreciation for her past meaninful work. I’m still very thankful, and her work meant a lot to me. But why should holiday tips be expected, no matter what your view on the teacher?
Skycaps, porters, and hotel doormen you meet along your holiday travels:
Article: “The skycap at the airport typically gets $2 to $3 per bag…… If you are running late and they are of particular assistance, then add $1 to $2 per bag. A flat $20 goes a long way in saying ‘thank you.’ “
My view: A flat $20? I don’t think so. I don’t exactly have a formula for this, but I might tip $2 for the first bag, and $1 for each extra one. But why $20?
Overall, I think this “socially expected” holiday tipping is a bit over the top. Sure, I get the notion of tipping the kid who delivers the newspaper…if you still get one these days, that is. I get the idea of doing something nice for your child’s teacher, and am all about that. Teachers rock. But these amounts are out of hand, and shouldn’t be near-mandatory.
I’m all for holiday spirit, and for generosity in general. But social pressures for giving tips is a bit ridiculous. People should give it they feel like giving, and if they actually think that the potential recipient has done a great job.
Of course, this doesn’t apply restaurant workers, hair stylists, or others who get tips for services throughout the year. They rely on such tips, and deserve to be tipped. Rather, I’m talking about things like the $20 tip to the skycap at the airport.
Tipping in general has seemingly become pushed upon consumers in recent years. I see tip jars everywhere, at coffee bars, takeout places….I even saw one at a convenient store. Not a “take a penny, leave a penny jar”, but an actual tip jar. Why?
I look at it as follows: you are paid to do a job. If you do it well, your employer will keep you, maybe give you a raise, and maybe even promote you. But you are already paid to do it.
Is this old fashioned? Are social norms changing, where tips are become commonplace and even expected in situations where they were not before? Are we slowly migrating to an overall model of compensation that includes a variable, customer-driven component?
Maybe things will get to the point where if you buy a sweater from a retailer, you’ll be “encouraged” to tip the sales associate. Or, maybe if you’re on flight across the country, it will be “assumed” that you’ll tip each flight attendant that helped you. Maybe, if you go to the grocery store, you’ll be expected to tip the employee who answered your question about which aisle carries ketchup?
Generosity is a great thing. It’s just that when it’s forced through societal pressures, some charm and meaning can get lost.
Any thoughts?
I agree, Squirrelers, the Yahoo article was a bit on the silly side. We regularly support our kids teachers with donations to the classrooms and occasional gift cards, but I shouldn’t think this might the *expectation”.
I also don’t get why food servers should expect a large 15-20% tip at chain restaurants, where service in my opinion is steadily degrading, food is practically shoved at you, and a final check slapped on your table in a “get moving and get on out” way. I guess as you say, next we’ll be expected to tip surly flight attendants for throwing a bag of peanuts in your general direction.
Tipping where it’s *not* expected can say more. We once gave $20 to two Lowe’s delivery guys who brought us appliances on a Sunday morning. They worked hard and efficiently, were very polite, and stayed to visit for a little while about nothing in general. I asked if they would be offended if we offered a tip. They were mildly embarrassed, but also gratified.
Andrew – you make a great point about how tipping where it’s not expected can really say a lot. The look of genuine appreciation on their faces is cool. I’ve done this on a few occasions before, it’s a good feeling to give.
I am a cheap guy and I usually tip 15% at restaurants. I also tip a buck or two when I get my hair cut. That’s it. The rest goes to saving, I gotta pay myself first to fund my early retirement plan. Oh yeah, my wife tips our pet sitter, but I don’t know how much.
Joe -some things we have to tip for, like restaurants and haircuts. I see those things as being fair for the service providers to expect, as that’s how they have historically made a living (or counted on the $$). It’s the things like tipping a skycap $20, as noted in that article, that I can’t wrap my head around. Not everybody can get a tip. For example: if somebody holds a door open for me, or says hello for me, should I leave a tip? Should we carry smart cards around that we can swipe, to transfer funds at will to anyone who does anything at all for us? 🙂
Definitely a silly article.
Though since we had a child our standard tip is 20%… and more if the mess we leave is bigger.
I’ve had a sky cap and a shuttle driver refuse $20 tips (though when the economy was good) a couple of instances in which I was in a bind and really grateful for their service. I think it made them even feel uncomfortable. That was back when I was younger, cuter, and unmarried.
Nicole – yeah, silly indeed. The $20 goes a long way comment got a chuckle out of me. I’m sure it would go a long way. Good story about your dealings with skycaps!
Tipping has really gotten out of control. The concept of tipping arises to provide a bonus to the server for providing excellent service. Now it is just becoming a norm and people expect a tip even if they provided crappy service. I’ve been to one of the restaurant where the service was slow. I have to request for a refill of water instead of them making the initiative of pouring it, and the waiter was a little rude. When I walked out without giving them a tip, the manager confronted me on why I did not put any tip. Well, duh! I’m a very generous tipper for those who go the extra mile but I could really be stingy as well.
One of the people I know would leave a penny for a tip just to show to them that they did not forget the tip but to remind them of their bad service.I am not knocking down on those people but if a server expects a tip, customers would expect excellent service. Bad service should be no tip even if the meal cost $200.
From what I’ve heard, people in Japan would provide you great service and they wouldn’t even accept your tip.
Ken – interesting about tipping in Japan. Never knew about that. Seems like a salary means something in that case. Thanks for sharing your own stories as well.
I noticed lately everyone in the service industry – waiters, hairdressers, cab drivers, postmen, paperboys, Starbucks people – expects to be tipped and tipped a lot. I am cheap on tips because I grew up in the country where tipping did not exist. In the US I learned how to tip but I am still a really cheap tipper. I will tip 20% ONLY if the service exceeded my expectations. If the service was awful, I’d tip one dollar (if that) and move on. No regrets, no guilt.
Aloysa – yes, it seems like everyone want a part of the action these days. It’s the places like coffee outlets that I can’t wrap my head around. I will tip 15% to 20% for servers at restaurants because it’s pretty much custom to tip them and they do count on that money. Service has to be atrocious for me not to tip them a fair amount. However, these days there are people in all kinds of venues that are inching their way into tips. Have to draw the line somewhere! Even in amounts, like that $20 skycap suggestion.
I really liked this article. I guess part of the reason is because I totally agree with you. Why would I tip the mail carrier? Aren’t they paid (by me through my taxes) at a fair salary? There are a few individuals on my tipping list, but the convenience store worker? Give me a break.
This is a bit late, but I’m going to chime in on the tipping coffee people (and similar jobs). At places like coffee shops, someone has to make a you a drink by hand. While they make minimum wage, they get nothing extra for remembering you, for knowing your drink, etc. I don’t always tip, nor do I feel obligated to do so. But, there’s a barista in one of my favorite coffee shops that always goes out of his way for me. For example, I might order a small, and he’ll make me a medium at no extra charge, or he’ll give me a new cookie for free to try. When I can, I’ll drop a tip into his jar. Realistically, that tip won’t go that far (as alot of people don’t tip at coffee shops) but he knows that I value his service.
Laren – thanks for your comment. What you described shows kindness and appreciation from you, without worrying about expectations of tips. It’s for extraordinary service that you seem to really appreciate, and it’s hard to argue against it. Point well taken. I tend to think that generosity that’s purely voluntary is a really good thing, and I can appreciate it!
The purpose of tipping a percentage of the bill is that the percentage itself NEVER has to go up with inflation.
Rather, the dollar amount of the bill goes up with inflation and, consequently, so does the dollar amount of the tip. This is automatic. You do not need to change the percentage in any way — in fact, you really not supposed to change the percentage. If you do so, it destroys the rationale behind using a percentage.
So it perplexes me when people say “20% is the new norm.” That makes no sense and does not comport with the reasoning behind using a percentage.
The whole concept is out of control. You GIVE someone X amount and it’s never enough for some ingrates. They talk about you to their cohorts when you’re gone. I don’t believe in %- based tips being fair. When your bill is $100, did that waitress work harder than the one that served you a $40 dinner? In some cases it can be less. Think about it.
Thanks for a reasonable and thoughtful article. I agree with your thoughts and fall in line with you with my tipping.
What especially annoys me lately is the pickup food tip jars, convenience store tips jars and the “half” service places with tip jars. By “half” service I mean a place where you walk up to a counter to order your food and maybe they bring the food to you but don’t really refill drinks or serve you beyond carrying out the food. Frequently the places don’t even do that – you order, you go back up to pick it up, you throw away your trash, I guess they clean the table after you but is that tip worthy?
What are your recommendations for this tipping craziness with your regular take-out places? Just don’t do it and seem like a jerk or what?
When it comes to regular take-out places, when I encounter such situations I’m just going to be very polite and friendly but won’t tip. I don’t think there is a reason to feel bad, since there shouldn’t (in my view) be a request/expectation for tip for this to begin with.