Can having money make somebody a more attractive partner?
In my way of thinking, the amount of money somebody has does not matter. At least, in the sense of accumulated assets or annual income. There are other things non-monetary in nature that truly matter.
Along those lines, I was having a discussion with somebody recently about a couple that featured a girlfriend that just wasn’t comfortable with her boyfriend’s financial prospects. I happen to know her, and she’s a go-getter type of person, and the guy seems that way too to some lesser degree. She apparently makes more money than he does.
To her, while she had a hard time admitting it, the idea that she made more than him bothered her. She mentioned that she just wanted to feel “taken care of”, and it just didn’t sit well with her that any guy could potentially “depend” on her as a breadwinner. Additionally, she was in a prior relationship where she noted that her ex was quite successful in his career, more so than the new beau. She just couldn’t stop herself from comparing guy #1 with guy #2.
Personally, I just find this mystifying. Again, to my way of thinking, there is more to a relationship than how much the other prospective partner makes.
Having said this, I do think that financial compatibility plays a role. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with feeling leery about someone who has carelessly racked up tons of debt for purchases of consumer purchases or similar excessive things, as opposed to education. Or, if one person is a hardcore saver and another totally has to live for today and spend, that’s a recipe for fights.
In other words, in the big picture I think financial habits make sense to look at, but how much money somebody makes seems to be an example of focusing on the wrong things. I realize that many people might completely disagree with this notion, if they’re totally honest about it.
Does this matter if we’re talking about the perspectives of a man vs. needs of a woman? Well, I can tell you that as a parent of a girl and boy, I don’t think of it differently. Now, my kids are young so this is a long way from now, but I don’t think I would have a substantially different set of concerns about the financial habits of a person each would ultimately get involved with. Again, I’m sure many would completely disagree.
What do you think?
Do you see it my way, that financial compatibility should matter to some degree and that how much somebody earns is not too relevant to a relationship? Is this the same for men vs. women?
What do you think about the feelings held by girlfriend in the above conversation? Understandable or not?