In our own unique way, each of us is a super special person, right?
Well, that didn’t seem to be the message conveyed in a speech given by a schoolteacher in Massachusetts. According to this article on Yahoo, he delivered a commencement speech that seemed to be an ego deflating discourse that essentially conveyed to the high school graduates that they aren’t so special or remarkable, and are just a number in the grand scheme of things. In other words, in the big picture, they are one of but millions of people similar to themselves.
The idea is that many kids are coddled and pampered, and told that they are truly special. But, if everybody is told that and ends up believing that, then who isn’t special? In other words, it’s just not realistic to think that everyone is a star. Not everybody truly achieves special things, and not everybody wins or becomes wealthy – no matter how much parents want to believe their kids are the greatest and want them to feel special.
I’m guessing that this type of message wouldn’t sit well with some parents. Many people wouldn’t like to hear their kid being told, in a speech, that he or she is truly not special.
Believe it or not, I like the message! The reality is that it’s true. Not everybody is special.
I bring this up here because the message resonates with me, but also because I can see a money angle to this. If a kid is told that he (or she) is special, and deserves a good quality of life, comforts, and fun experiences, then he might start expecting that. Which may not be such a bad thing to some degree, as I do believe our expectations can help shape our success in life.
However, it’s also treacherous to some degree as well. When people think they are special, and are entitled, they risk making decisions that don’t fit their reality. You know, like wanting a flashy new car as a young person instead of a more appropriate car for a teenager. Or, when older, buying a home that fits your needs, instead of buying an unaffordable home that you simply want. Such types of moves, when taken in aggregate, can impact a person’s life in many ways.
The bottom line is that I like the message conveyed in that speech, as it was described, and based on how it ultimately relates to personal finance. If we realize that we are not special and not entitled, and that we have to personally earn our lifestyle, we will be in a position to make more sound financial decisions and lead a more fulfilling life.
To the extent that this idea is conveyed early in life, that’s all the better!
What Do You Think?
Do you like the idea that the teacher made these proclamations to the students in a commencement speech?
How would you react, as a parent, if you watched this speech happen with your kid being one of the graduates?
Do you agree with the notion that when some people think that they are special “just because”, it could lead to entitlement and perhaps some less than realistic financial decisions?
I think that the teacher may have crossed a line – because at the end of the day, it’s the parents job to ground their children and make them humble people, not the teachers, and there’s a time and a place. High school graduation should in no means make the kids feel special – it’s a necessity, to me – but it’s a happy time and why bring it down?
On the other hand, somebody needs to tell them that they’re in no way, shape, or form special. Lol.
Daisy – it’s cartainly a controversial time and place, which got it to be news. I got a kick out of it, and like the idea that kids are told things as are they.
I believe everyone is special because we’re all unique. Now, whether or not everyone is remarkable is another matter. Being special, in and of itself, does nothing to influence your value in the marketplace.
Shawanda – you last sentence has some real wisdom there, that can hold value throughout one’s working years.
It sounds like the point was to tell them that they’re not entitled, and if they think they are they will be disappointed when things don’t fall into their laps. I’m not sure that a commencement was the place for that. All of the graduations I’ve gone through are designed to make the grads feel proud and happy walking out, where this would probably make me nervous. I don’t disagree with the message. But, time and place? Not sure.
Money Beagle – true, graduations should make kids feel good. Having said that, I also think that education is education, and this is also one extra time to teach a lesson. But I think your view is probably in the majority.
As a teacher, I would not pick a commencement address to deflate students! I think at that time, it should be uplifting and joyous. It doesn’t mean you have to avoid reality, but I would negativity.
I saw that article on Yahoo and thought the teacher did fine. If you know you are going to achieve great things, then you could have just blown him off. If it kicks some of the students in the butt to work harder on making themselves “special”, then good for them. I think he was a bit too negative, but the idea he was trying to convey sounded good to me.
Crystal – perhaps he might have been a bit too negative, I can go along with that. but I too think that the idea he as trying to pass along was good. Hopefully the students can discern between special and remarkable!
Not sure how I feel about that message being used in a commencement speech, I do agree with the message but perhaps it’s more appropriate to be taught throughout the schoolyear rather than at a graduation?
Andrea – it sure would be nice for that message to be taught year ’round, particularly at home!
Most people do have unique talents and gifts; they just don’t know what they are, how to leverage them or market them. That’s my take anyways. However, entitlement is something that is really detrimental to success. People who are the most successful work harder than is often imaginable.
JP – very true, people that are very success often work extremely hard. in certain cases, there might not be any way around that.
I think we need to be more honest with ourselves and with our kids. I heard a quote somewhere recently: what the world needs is less ambition and a little more compassion. In America, we have stressed the individual so much that the community is suffering. Everyone thinks they are a mini-celeb in their Facebook world. We are so into ourselves that we don’t know what is going on with the bigger picture.
I think it’s great – but my ego is still inflated. The mantra I like to repeat is, “You’re unique. Just like everyone else.” But yeah, a little reality is pretty solid.
Even those unique snowflakes melt into unrecognizable water droplets. Just saying.
PK – great analogy. I also like that mantra you note:)
Okay, I have a great example that just happened yesterday to add to the problem of kids thinking they’re “special”. I had to take in an “extra” student yesterday because he had earned too many demerits to go on a field trip with his class. Middle of the day he comes up to me with his work and says, “Can I have something else to work on? This is too low level for me and I need higher level material.”
Now granted, this is a kid who had 3 weeks of back work that he hadn’t completed. Actually, I had this kid for a couple months a few years ago and he never completed anything. So, bottom line, someone at some point told him he was smart, special, or “gifted” and that’s his excuse now for not doing his work. He’s only one example, but it’s clear there’s an issue with a lack of work ethic.
More kids need to hear a speech like this! Maybe not in a commencement speech, but kids today do think they don’t have to work hard and there’s a bit of entitlement going on. I see it on a daily basis.
Little House – GREAT example! Being on the front line, that says a lot when you see some kids feeling that entitled.
I like the message, but agree with many other commenters – the venue was the wrong place. I tell my kids I love them, I tell them they are smart (because they are) – but I also tell them they have to work for what they want. I’ve worked hard for everything I have, they will have to also.
Kris – yes, that seems like the popular opinion here about the venue. As far as the message you’re sharing to kids, that’s great stuff. Mine are young, but I hope to impart that same message on to them too.
Jon – that is a very good message.
I’m with you, I really liked the message… although, when my daughter got a “participation” trophy for her dance class the very next week, I had to eat my words.